<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Last Goodbye | Trade for polvo (TH) by Avistella</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24207739">The Last Goodbye | Trade for polvo (TH)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella'>Avistella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:48:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24207739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avistella/pseuds/Avistella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil spends as much time with Abel until it's time to say goodbye.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Last Goodbye | Trade for polvo (TH)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Writing for art trade with polvo (Toyhou.se)<br/>I do not claim ownership to any of the characters featured in this work. All characters belong to polvo.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hospital room is quiet with very few sounds coming from within. The walls are white, and the general air feels clean in all sense of the word, but with it, there comes a sense of dread and anxiety. The moon shines brightly high above the sky, covered by the thin curtain in the room.</p>
<p>Abel sits up in bed and hunched over. He's in pain. He's in an <em>unbearable</em> amount of pain. <em>It hurts. It hurts it hurts </em><em><strong>it hurts</strong></em>— He wants to die. He can't help it if he thinks such thoughts. Death, as easy of a solution as it might sound, is also a better option than having to bear through this pain. The idea of no longer having to live through this suffering is enticing. Death invites him to take its hand and free him from this world and its hardships that had befallen him.</p>
<p>It's tempting, but Abel hesitates. ...Why? Why did Cecil's face flash in his mind at that moment when he was just about to consider on giving everything up? His resolve wavers, and tears of guilt prick at his eyes. He doesn't want to leave Cecil. Cecil has been with him through so much, it would be unfair if he were to leave him alone. So he promises and vows to himself to fight through the pain for yet another long and lonely night.</p>
<p>Morning has come once more with the sun rising up in the sky as cruelly as always. Cecil's footsteps sound through the busy halls, his mind focused on one thing and one thing only—providing Abel company and trying to spend as much time with him as possible.</p>
<p>It's the early morning, but the hospital is already bustling with busy staff members and restless patients alike. Cecil has been arriving at the hospital for as early as when visiting hours start. He wants to stay for as long as he's allowed.</p>
<p>He quietly opens the door to Abel's room and peeks inside, finding the young man to still be lying in bed and fast asleep. Cecil finds himself breathing out a small sigh. It's heavy and full of fatigue, but at the same time, there's a sense of relief behind it. After all, Abel is still here. He may be asleep, but he's still <em>here</em>.</p>
<p>Cecil walks up to Abel's bedside and pulls up a nearby chair. He sits there, not saying anything at first. Instead, he takes a moment to simply stare at Cecil. He looks pale, and his eyes appear sunken in. It looks like his condition is getting worse, but Cecil tries not to think about it. He tries not think about how painful it must be for Abel. He tries not to think about how much closer he is to death.</p>
<p>He shakes his head to keep those depressing thoughts at bay. Slowly, he opens his mouth. Even though Abel is unconscious and unable to hear him, Cecil starts to talking to him as if it were like all those previous conversations they used to have. He talks about anything and everything that comes to mind like how his days have been, the things he's seen, the people he's interacted with... It doesn't matter what it is. He just wants to keep the heavy and tense silence at bay.</p>
<p>It's a bit ironic, he supposes. He's used to these one-sided conversations like these with Abel. He's used to his voice being the only one he can hear when talking to him, but back in those days, Abel was still able to listen to him and react to him. He would smile or laugh or cry or pout... He would make all sorts of expressions and reactions to the things that Cecil said. But that isn't possible anymore. Nowadays, Abel spends most of his days fast asleep, so it's... <em>lonelier</em> than usual.</p>
<p>Cecil is starting to run out of things to say, and although it wasn't his intention, his thoughts end up heading straight towards the start of all of this. He closes his eyes, thinking back to the first feather that fell from Abel's wings. <em>That first feather.</em>There were so many feelings that came along with it, even though it was such a simple thing. Even though it was something so simple, the meaning behind it meant... <em>everything</em>.</p>
<p>Cecil can still remember how he broke down that day. His cries back then were made up of pure agony and despair. It must have been pitiful from an outsider's perspective. Even though he wasn't the one that was dying, he ended up crying the most. He remembers how he cried by Abel's side, sticking close to him while wondering and lamenting on why somebody so kind and sweet would have to go through all of this pain and suffering.</p>
<p>Cecil's breathing starts to become heavier as he tries to keep his emotions in check. He can't break down here. Not by Abel's bedside. He wipes at his tears with the back of his hand, taking in a shaky breath as he hears Abel begin to stir.</p>
<p>Abel's eyes slowly flutter open, but his eyelids feel heavy, and it's a bit of a struggle. Cecil quickly wipes away the remaining stray and stubborn tears, trying to calm down and recollect himself. He knows full well that their time together is limited. And it's because of that fact that he wants to spend their remaining time by making happy memories together rather than wallowing in pity. When... When he sends Abel off, he doesn't want to send him off with depressing memories or thoughts or anything like that. He wants to send him off with a smile and joyful memories they can look back on with fondness.</p>
<p>The two of them spend some time together, and this time, Cecil talks to him just like old days. Abel appears weak, so his reactions to Cecil's words are rather subdued, but it's enough. ...Or so Cecil thinks. he's trying his best, but he can't do it. It's too painful.</p>
<p>His eyes grow glossy and wet, and before he knows it, he's crying once more. He attempts to compose himself for both of their sakes, but it's too much. It's too much for his heart to handle and bear. As Abel watches him cry, his shoulders trembling with his sobs, it in turn makes Abel cry as well.</p>
<p>He doesn't like it.</p>
<p>He doesn't like seeing Cecil all sad like this. It's his fault, he thinks idly to himself. If it weren't for him and his condition, then Cecil wouldn't be crying like this. He silently curses his fate in the back of his mind, tears flowing down his cheeks as well. Even though they wanted to make happy memories together, the two of them spend a good portion of their time crying and trying to console one another, and in a way, themselves as well.</p>
<p>After crying their heart out, a wave of fatigue washes over Abel once again, and he falls back into a deep slumber. Cecil decides to stay as he always does, wanting to remain by his side for as long as he can, even if it's just another second. Eventually, the end of visiting hours arrive, and Cecil finally gets up from his seat and leaves. He spares a quick glance behind to stare at Abel. Just like always, one thought crosses his mind:</p>
<p><em>I hope this isn't the last time Cecil falls asleep.</em>  </p>
<p>The next morning, Cecil returns and comes back. The hospital staff have grown used to seeing his face by now, greeting him a good morning with a bright smile on their face, but he can still see the underlying pity behind their eyes. He chooses to ignore it for now. It doesn't matter to him anyways. All that matters is Abel and his comfort.</p>
<p>He does the same thing as he's always done before. It's become a standard routine by now for him to pull up a chair and sit beside Abel's bed. He talks about the things that happened that morning since he's pretty much said everything he had to say in his previous visit. He talks about the things he saw along the way and whatever else can come to mind.</p>
<p>"Oh, I almost forgot!" He exclaims rather suddenly. He takes out a small book from his bag and offers a weak smile. "I brought a book with me," he says. "I think you might like it."</p>
<p>Cecil pauses as though waiting for Abel to respond, but of course, he doesn't. His smile, already weak and small, falters for a brief moment. With shaky hands, he opens up the book and begins to read. It's fine if Abel is still sleeping. Reading helps keep Cecil distracted.</p>
<p>Cecil is through the first portion of the book when Abel wakes up. Cecil's eyes light up, and the two engage in some small talk. He points towards the book in his hand.</p>
<p>"Hey, since you're awake now, do you want me to start reading this again from the beginning?" He asks. "I already started reading it while you were asleep, so it might feel weird if I just continue from where I left off..."</p>
<p>Abel thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head. Cecil gives a faint shrug of his shoulders but decides to respect Abel's wish. He opens the book up once more and continues from the last page he read prior to Abel waking up. As he's reading, Abel ends up falling back to sleep. He wasn't even awake for that long...</p>
<p>Cecil shakes his head. He decides to put the book away for now. He promises to both himself and to Abel that he'll finish reading the book the next time he's awake. He looks upon Abel's slumbering face and reaches a hand out to stroke his cheek. He talks to him, letting out everything that's been in his heart.</p>
<p>He confesses how much pain and suffering he's been in ever since Abel was admitted into the hospital. He talks about how people have started worrying for him and his well-being since he puts so much of his thoughts and focus on Abel. He reminisces all the fun times they've had together, admitting his desire to live through them once more and make even more happy memories.</p>
<p>Even though Abel is fast asleep, it doesn't really feel that way for him. He's still vaguely able to sense Cecil's presence and warmth, comforting and bittersweet as it is. It's a nice feeling, he supposes, amidst the pain he has to go through. Even if he isn't conscious, he can still vaguely hear Cecil's voice as he talks with him like old times, but he finds the voice starting to grow more distant and faint.</p>
<p>It's a terrifying but also freeing sensation. It feels as though Abel is falling deeper and deeper into darkness, and although it fills him with a sense of dread and anxiety, Cecil's voice and warmth helps guide him through it. All of the love and warmth Cecil feels for him... He carries it with him as he sinks deeper and deeper into nothingness.</p>
<p>The days continue to pass on by, and Abel is no longer able to wake up. He's still alive—the doctors have said so—but he isn't waking. Nevertheless, Cecil continues to visit, not breaking out of his routine. It's become a daily part of his life now. The book that he was reading to Abel is still on hold, he realizes. He can't bring himself to open it up again unless Abel wakes up. He did promise, after all.</p>
<p>Days and nights pass, the lonely days continuing forever onwards until one day... finally... Cecil is met with the news of Abel's passing.</p>
<p>His blood runs cold, and his heart rings in his ears. He barely registers the hospital staff's words, and he feels lightheaded and dizzy. The world around him seems to fade, and it feels as though somebody is squeezing at his heart and throat both, rendering him unable to breathe or even stay up on his feet.</p>
<p><em>Gone</em>, he realizes.</p>
<p>That book which was looking forward to reading with the loveliest person he's ever met in his life...</p>
<p>That book which he was curious to know the ending for...</p>
<p>Now, he will never know how it ends.</p>
<p>Because Abel is gone. And nothing else matters.</p>
<p>It's all over.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>